Just (in)sights of numbness

 Oh god it feels like forever... But forever feels like home, sitting all alone, inside your head.
How long does forever last? What if we could really live all this time?
I've wished it once. From the very bottom of my soul. I had written about it. I had tried to make a deal with the devil, in a text but I tried...
Lately life had felt like forever. I'm in a good job, almost married. I've got a car and a house, though I'm only 23. Some may even envy me, and just a bit time ago I could be really proud of that.

The truth is that I'm slowly going numb. No drugs, mindsickness, just life.

Today she yield at me. I didn't care. I just kept listening to my music while I was tiping this text.

I wonder if, being imortal, there would be something to care at all.

1-Music still touches me, but there was a time when some songs would make me cry of joy...
2-Poetry seems depressed, or silly.
3-My womanizer time is gone, not to say that it had barely been here...
4-Both the sunsets and the moonlight are just sights.

-Volto a querer querer algo. O que? Não sei.

-O que é dessa vez?!

-É isso que quero saber. Tem algo haver com viver, pagar as contas e ser feliz.

-Não és?

-Não sei bem o que é ser, que dirá se sou.

-Dizias não ligar para o que pensam. Ainda acha isso?

-Não. Tenho tido a necessidade de contar meus "planos de grandeza" para todos, tentando não me sentir tão fracassado.

-Sabes que não somos fracassados.

-Sempre depende do referencial.

-Estou prestes a fazer 25 anos -Exclamação contida!-

-E dai?

-Pois é. Quero ser milionário antes dos 30, ou melhor, queria. Acho que não dá mais.

-Só vais ser feliz se for milionário?

-Sequer sei se isso vai me fazer feliz, mas por hora parece uma boa ideia.